The Cat.

Skywalker & Vader.

Kinnock and Thatcher.

Ed Balls and sanity - seperated forever after.

Whether it be real life or fiction, most have at some point encountered our very own 'nemesis'. This may be an individual, a job, a place or an innanimate object. Anything really that offers some challange or difficulty we struggle to contain or contend.

I am quite fortunate. I have a number. One of which is my dicky bowel. Another of which is our recently adopted cat.

Dylan, as above, was involved in an rta apparently - resulting in not an insignificant distrust and contempt for most things outdoorsey.

Hence why we get on so well. And hence, why we eventually succumbed to adopting the little bundle of fur and claw.

The first few weeks were a little traumatic. I don't particularly enjoy wiping my own arse let alone cleaning a bowling ball sized cat turd left magnanimously underneath the kitchen table. Yet this I did.

I don't really enjoy sharing a bed with my nearest and dearest, (yet as discalimer I accept the spacial invasion instigated by her cold plates of meet every evening) let alone Dylan's newly acquired preference for sleeping and farting on the throw at the bottom of my bed.

Yet this I endure.

However, this morning my surrogate child decided to knock over my morning dajeeling. Appearing trivial to some, this is not the case. My morning ciggie accompanied with a cup of rosey lea is one of the few things which maintains my sanity on an even(ish) keel. Consequently, this disruption to my daily routine does not sit well in the slightest - and requires some form of reprisal.

My significantly amused other chuckled at the happening passing the 'accident' off as light hearted triviality. But I know better. There are afterall, no such things as accidents.

It was a pre-meditated attack following last weeks 'inadvertent standing on tail-gate' incident.

I fear that the house which once offered sollace and safety will become an all out war zone. The fur will fly and I will be swamped with cat litter and kitty excrement.