The first of which is the sizeable oil spill in, around, and upon the gulf of mexico i.e this:-
The huge fuck-off shadow on the bottom right hand-side of the above piccy illustrates the oil leak.
According to expert free-lance journalists (commissioned- and paid handsomely - to report on the story until public interest dwindles), "......the spill is threatening to eclipse the 1989 exxon valdez leak off Alaska as America's worst environmental disaster".
Golly gosh.
Reading a bit more about the "leak", circa 23million litres have allegedl yand already pissed out into open ocean, signifying dire straights/neo-cataclysmic implications for the surrounding wetlands and associated wildlife.
Thus far, highly complex scientific-clad attempts to curtail the spill have failed to offer a sollution.
As good fortune would have it - I have the answer.
Bearing in mind bastards luck - if your travelling to work on a friday sunny morning and are sporting a recently pressed sparkling white shirt - you will always find yourself short of petroleum.
Popping into the garage and filling up, you leave the pumps with not only a full tank of gas - but additionally a big bastard stain that even the highest strenght detergent fails to remove.
Consequently, instead of the gazillion pounds on huge concerte corks and sadbags that fail to do anything apart from fucking the environment up further - employ many of the inbred southern yanks to weave a gigantic dress-shirt.
Have this airdopped over the spill and it will absorb all the spill thereby immidately remedying the problem.
The second problem is that I have been worrying about one of my cats all morning. Dylan has failed to eat any food and hasnt moved a great deal since 05.30. Eventually he ran over to me and sat on my lap.
After around 5 minutes of innocent petting - he jumped down and descended hastily the stairs - leaving me with a moderately sized cat shit on my track-suit pants.
Therein was the problem.
He seems happier now.
No comments:
Post a Comment